The first year of management
My journey to management
I never wanted to be a manager, but everyone was always bringing it up. In my first performance review, my manager suggested it as a possible career path and when I changed teams, new managers would often ask if that was on my horizon. I remember being offended that it kept coming up, because I thought it meant they saw me as more of a leader than a technical leader. I thought they were saying I wasn’t a good software engineer. I grew more and more adamant that I would never become a manager.
Looking back, I realize I made a few assumptions in these conversations. Back then I believed:
Managers are not as technical / respected as software engineers
Once you become a manager, you can never go back to being a software engineer
Being great at one thing means you’re inevitably worse at other things
In my experience these statements are false or at least not always true, but because I believed them, I pushed back against the idea of becoming a manager.
But over the next 4 years, I found myself increasingly drawn to manager-like activities:
Becoming the go-to person for interns who wanted to talk about team issues even when I wasn’t on their team
Mentoring several interns and software engineers & coaching peers to their first promotion
Creating team and office wide process improvements
Caring a ton about retention + supporting team members to find a place at the company where they would succeed
Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash
Management still wasn’t on my radar, until one day it was. I attended a panel at an internal conference about career paths in tech. One of the panelists had an identical path to me. She had been an intern at the company, then an engineer for about four years, then she had transitioned to management, then after several years as a manager she had transitioned back to senior engineer. One of the moderators asked her the question that was on my mind:
“How did you transition from manager back to engineer, and senior engineer at that? Were you worried you may have lost the engineering skills?”
The panelist’s answer changed my whole career path:
“Why would you think I couldn’t go back to being an engineer? I had been an engineer for four years.”
A lightbulb went off in my head and I realized I was holding myself back from considering management because of this fear that once I left engineering, I could never go back. Why was I doing that? Of course I would have what it takes to become an engineer again, I already was an engineer. If I could do my role today, I could definitely do my role again in a few years when I had more experience. Without this fear holding me back, I realized there was a lot to like about engineering management and it seemed like the next best step for me.
I returned from the conference and shared my plan with my manager. She was extremely supportive and shared that our team needed a new manager. After years of not considering it, my readiness and the opportunity aligned at the perfect time. It was October 2018 and by January 2019 I was managing a team of 5.
Months 1–3
My first team had 5 engineers:
1 SDE who has been on the team > 1 year
1 SDE who had transferred from another team
2 New Hires
1 intern
Because the team was so junior I served as the tech lead for the first year of the team. I reviewed most of the code reviews, advised the team on specific technical solutions, answered questions about the codebase, and helped the team debug issues. I knew this wasn’t sustainable in the long-term and that I needed to build up those skills in the team, but for the short-term this allowed me to start managing while still helping the team grow. It helped that this new team owned features that I had built as a software engineer, so I didn’t need to ramp up on the codebase and learn to be a manager at the same time. I recommend this approach whenever possible.
During this time, I said yes to every opportunity that someone was willing to give me, I overly prepared for every 1x1 wanting to make the best impression on my new team. Urgent tasks came up for my team and I struggled to know what was actually urgent and what was lower priority. My team ramped up to some new and ambiguous projects, I felt like I didn’t know the answer to anything, and I was suddenly responsible for people’s careers. It was intimidating. I felt a paralyzing need to be perfect, something I still struggle with today, and I was overwhelmed with the number of meetings. There was so much I needed to do and so little time. Looking back at my bullet journal from that time, I was doing way too much all the time, no wonder I was stressed. But I’m glad I invested the time in learning and embracing new experiences, because it paid off later in the year.
What to expect in the first 3 months
Feeling like a new hire again — You will go from an independent and dependable IC to someone that needs to ask for help all the time. You have so much to learn and when your team asks you for help, you don’t know the answer off the top of your head. That’s ok.
Impostor Syndrome — When you realize your peers are now other managers, many of whom have decades of manager experience, it can be pretty intimidating. While some companies have a junior manager role, you are often at the same level initially as much more senior managers. Even though everyone was supportive and understood I was new, I remember feeling so stressed before my first few Eng Manager meetings or when representing my team in big meetings. I wanted to do the job well and I felt like I was already behind.
Balancing technical lead work with management is tricky. It can feel like you never have time for code reviews and there can be a temptation to work long hours to keep up. As you grow you will get better at prioritizing and delegation, and it won’t always feel this stressful.
Learning
During these first three months, I immersed myself in learning as much as possible. Here are my top recommendations:
Books
The Making of a Manager by Julie Zhuo— This was probably my favorite that I read during the transition.
The Manager’s Path by Camille Fournier — One line really resonated during the transition: “if your team needs a manager more than they need an engineer, you have to accept that being a manager means that, by definition, you can’t be an engineer.” This reminded me that while I was exploring management, I should commit fully to being a manager. Many will disagree, I’m sure, but this embodies the type of engineering management that I am drawn to where you don’t let the technical work overshadow the people management work. It is important to give yourself time to manage, and not just become an engineer with a manager title.
Three Signs of a Miserable Job by Patrick Lencioni(sometimes called The Truth About Employee Engagement) This is a super practical and and interesting manager book because it’s told via a fable. This gave me a framework to apply in my early 1x1s. I took the three concepts of engagement and asked 1x1 questions that related to them, rotating to the next topic every week. It was nice to have a framework when I sometimes felt so lost leading 1x1s.
LinkedIn Learning Courses
Advice for the transition
Leverage your strengths —At a time dedicated to being new and learning, remember that you still have so much to offer. Whether that’s knowledge of the company codebase, a deep network at the company, experience on another team, or even specific skills like empathy, attention to detail, organization, etc. Bring in those strengths even while learning. You will feel better and others will benefit from your expertise.
Embrace the transition — You only get to be a new manager once. Embrace it, don’t resent it. This is your time to be new, to learn, to ask for help unapologetically.
Get to know your team — If you don’t love your team and see the value in everyone you work with, what has this all been about? Get to know everyone on your team, ask lots of questions, learn what motivates them, what excites them, what frustrates them, what they want to get better at. Find quick wins and long-term wins you can fight for that will make their experience better at the company. People commonly say once you become a manager, your team becomes your peer managers, but I disagree. Your team is your team, the people you manage. Don’t lose sight of that.
Stay true to yourself — It is tempting to become the version of manager most valued at your company. It is easy to mirror your favorite manager and replicate their approach. Don’t reinvent the wheel just to be different, but remember that the reason your company trusted you to become a manager is you have important skills to offer. They want you to be the best version of yourself as a manager. Even on your first day.
Months 4–6
Three months in and everything was going great. I was an engineering manager. I had a good grasp on my team and the projects we were taking on. I was leading career conversations, estimating projects and representing my team in meetings. Every day didn’t feel so challenging anymore. I was doing this. Then, with one giant, team-altering project, it all went downhill.
In retrospect the problems were obvious from the start. I got too wrapped in the exciting vision of what this project could be and I knew it would be a good learning opportunity for someone on my team who wanted a bigger challenge. I had to make this work. On the airplane home from an offsite meeting, I chatted back and forth with the lead for the project, estimating it together. 8 weeks for 1–2 engineers. Sure! I didn’t ask a lot of questions, I didn’t challenge assumptions, or dig deep into the estimates. I didn’t wonder if there were better or less risky ways to do this. The sizing worked well with our team’s capacity and I left it at that.
When it was all said and done it took 24 weeks and the entire team. We even had a few engineers from other teams join to get it over the line. Everyone was incredibly stressed. I was stressed and rather than taking charge like a leader and pushing back on the deadlines, helping the team to break down the work, I kept asking for updates and I ended up stressing the whole team out. Many people shared I wasn’t giving enough positive feedback and mentioned that it felt like I only cared about the deadline. I was horrified, I had let everyone down. What a failure.
I almost quit management thinking I was doing more harm than good and knowing I had messed up in a major way, not just because of the project delivery schedule, but because I had failed to support the team in a difficult moment. If I wasn’t supporting my team, what had this all been about?
A friend talked me down from quitting by reminding me that I could improve. I took the time to reflect on how my actions had hurt the team and sincerely tried to improve and grow from the experience. Looking back 3.5 years later, this moment changed my whole approach to management and I feel lucky that my team supported me despite the mistake and I am glad this happened so early on, but at the time it was so hard. Whether it’s at 3 months, 6 months, or one year, most new managers have a big moment of failure. My best advice is to approach the situation and feedback with humility, really consider what you did wrong even if you think your intentions were positive, and learn and grow from the experience. After all, you’re still a new manager.
Lessons Learned
Give more positive feedback than you think and give feedback in the way the team members like to receive it
Triple check estimates and account for things going wrong
Watch out for your strengths becoming a weakness — I was always very deadline-focused as an engineer and one of my strengths is productivity/getting things done when I say I will. When I overvalue my strengths as a manager and only value when the team hits deadlines and not the other work that it takes to get to that point, I can create a stressful and at times toxic culture on the team. This can happen with almost any strength and sometimes the greatest challenge for us as managers is to manage people who are completely different from us.
What to expect in months 4–6
Delivery of key projects
Performance management
Writing your first promotion doc
Immigration/visa support for team members
Onboarding new team members
Hiring
Resources
Improving your coaching skills as a manager (LinkedIn Learning)
Hiring, Onboarding, Retention resources from LeadDev
Mentoring, Coaching, Feedback resources from LeadDev
The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni
Months 6–12
Around 6 months, I had my first team member decide to leave the team. I helped her research teams throughout the transfer process and tried to be as supportive as possible, but I was sad that she was leaving. It was hard not to take it as a personal failure.
My team made progress on our roadmap. The project that had spiraled out of control eventually launched, we spent a few months fixing the tech debt we had accumulated, then ramped up for an international launch in 8 countries. Before the end of the year, we had expanded the tool to cover new use cases for v2. It was satisfying, things were improving. Our work had paid off.
I started working more actively on promotion documents. By this time I had a larger team and a few were ready for SDE II. I was onboarding new team members to the team, regularly giving positive feedback to the team, and coaching team members to grow.
I was so busy, but a good level of busy. More manageable than it had been my first three months. Projects were often chaotic, I often left 1x1s knowing I should have done better, and I still relied on my manager for a lot, but I was an engineering manager. I had learned and grown so much in my first year.
What to expect
Larger challenges (people & project)
Increased scope
More independence
Defining & refining your management style
Retention becomes more important
Harder days & more rewarding days
Resources
Create or join a network of other engineering managers both within your company and beyond. It’s important to have manager friends that you can be candid with and people who you can ask for advice. Being a manager can be lonely at times, lean on your community.
Retaining Diverse Talent (my LinkedIn learning course) that covers manager fundamentals from the perspective of retaining women in tech.
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